Best Jokes for Your Kids. Kids are natural comedians so why not encourage them to get punny with these kid-approved quips that require little to no explanation from parents. Just don’t be surprised when the comedy sketch goes beyond today! Scroll down for our silliest and corniest jokes yet.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
7. What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
8. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
9. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
10. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
11. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?
That hit the spot!
13. Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
14. How does a vampire start a letter?
Tomb it may concern…
15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
18. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
When the punchline is a parent.
20. How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
Don’t take me for granite!
22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
A wise quacker.
23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.
24. What kind of water cannot freeze?
25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
26. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.
27. Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because her mom and dad were in a jam.
28, What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is pop corn?
29. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
30. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
About a buck an ear.
31. Where would you find an elephant?
The same place as you lost her!
32. How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!
33. What animal is always at a baseball game?
34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
36. What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!
37. What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?
39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
40. How does the moon cut his hair?
41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut!
42. What do you call two birds in love?
43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
44. How are false teeth like stars?
They come out at night!
45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?
She starts coffin.
46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
47. What is a computer’s favorite snack?
—reader Rebecca K.
48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?
They do, just not in public.
49. What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon
50. What did the banana say to the dog?
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.