Funny Mother Quotes And Sayings

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Here are Funny Mother Quotes And Sayings “I know how to do anything—I’m a mom.” — Roseanne Barr “My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.” — Dame Edna Everage punch_mom_in_face_tiny You can read more Deep quotes that make you think

“I’m a mother with two small children, so I don’t take as much crap as I used to.” — Pamela Anderson “Nobody loves me but my mother, And she could be jivin’ too.” — B. B. King “If my mom reads that I’m grammatically incorrect, I’ll have hell to pay.” — Larisa Oleynik “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” — Jack Nicholson “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” — Tim Allen “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck “There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it.” — Chinese Proverbs “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after.” — Peter De Vries “The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.” — Kin Hubbard “As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.” — Oscar Wilde “Neurotics build castles in the air; psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.” — Rita Rudner “My mother had morning sickness after I was born.” — Rodney Dangerfield “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” — Phyllis Diller “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle “My mom was a garage sale person, save money. Come on in to the garage sale, you might find a shirt. She’d get in that garage sale and point stuff out to you. There’s a good fork for a nickel. Yeah, that’s beautiful. It’s a little high. If it were three cents I’d snap it up.” — Louie Anderson “My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.” — Rita Rudner “I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, ‘Steven, time to go to sleep.’ I said, ‘But I don’t know how.’ She said, ‘It’s real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.’ So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said ‘I thought I told you to go to sleep.'” — Steven Wright “My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.” — Wendy Liebman

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