50 Famous Quotes About Dogs – Funny Animal Quotes

Dogs are commonly referred to as “man’s best friend,” and 50 famous people also had choice and lasting words for our four-legged colleagues. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” —Dave Barry (author, Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway: A Vicious and Unprovoked Attack on Our Most Cherished Political Institutions.

Funny Dog Quotes
Funny Dog Quotes

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The Most Famous Quotes About Friendship Work Together–Guys Jokes, Disgusting Dirty Jokes For Adults “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley ____________________________________________ “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” —Josh Billings   “Hounds follow those who feed them.” ―Otto von Bismarck ____________________________________________ “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” —Roger Caras ____________________________________________ “Every dog has his day, unless he loses his tail, then he has a weak-end.” —June Carter Cash ____________________________________________ “Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.” —Agatha Christie ____________________________________________ “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” ―M.K. Clinton ____________________________________________ “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” —Charles de Gaulle ____________________________________________ “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” —Johnny Depp ____________________________________________ “Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.” —Emily Dickinson ____________________________________________ “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” —Dwight D. Eisenhower ____________________________________________ “Why does watching a dog be a dog fill one with happiness?” —Jonathan Safran Foer ____________________________________________ “There are three faithful friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.” —Benjamin Franklin ____________________________________________ “Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.” —Sigmund Freud ____________________________________________ “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” —Robert A. Heinlein ____________________________________________ “When an eighty-five pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” ―Kristan Higgins ____________________________________________ “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.” —Aldous Huxley (author, Brave New World ____________________________________________ “There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog — waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there.” —Lee Iacocca (former president and CEO of Chrysler) ____________________________________________ “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” —Franklin P. Jones (humorist and PR executive) ____________________________________________ “A dog can’t think that much about what he’s doing, he just does what feels right.” ―Barbara Kingsolver (author, Animal Dreams: A Novel ____________________________________________ “When the Man waked up he said, ‘What is Wild Dog doing here?’ And the Woman said, ‘His name is not Wild Dog any more, but the First Friend, because he will be our friend for always and always and always.’” —Rudyard Kipling (author, The Jungle Book ____________________________________________ “Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished.” —Dean Koontz ____________________________________________ “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” —Ann Landers ____________________________________________ “I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.” —Abraham Lincoln ____________________________________________ “A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” —Jack London ____________________________________________ “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” —Groucho Marx ____________________________________________ “Dogs don’t rationalize. They don’t hold anything against a person. They don’t see the outside of a human but the inside of a human.” —Cesar Millan ____________________________________________ “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” —Marilyn Monroe ____________________________________________ “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.” —Christopher Morley ____________________________________________ “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” —Phil Pastoret ____________________________________________ “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” —Gilda Radner ____________________________________________ “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” —Will Rogers ____________________________________________ “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” —Andy Rooney ____________________________________________ “I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” —Rita Rudner ____________________________________________ “Happiness is a warm puppy.” —Charles M. Schulz ____________________________________________ “If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.” —George Bernard Shaw ____________________________________________ “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.” —John Steinbeck ____________________________________________ “You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” —Robert Louis Stevenson ____________________________________________ “Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way.” —Quentin Tarantino ____________________________________________ “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.” —Elizabeth Taylor ____________________________________________ “If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.” —James Thurber  

Funny Animal Quotes – Laught Everyday

Cats, dogs, and most animals have a magical way of being funny and cute without even trying. If you’re an animal lover you will love these.

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If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?

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A zooology teacher asks the class ‘What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?’ The class answers: a lioness.

t-dream-of-better-tomorrow

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

t-get-a-dog

If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog

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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. – Mark Twain

t-never-stand-between-dog-and-fire-hydrant

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant

t-shark-man-overboard

What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? “Man Overboard!”

t-sharks-are-not-so-bad (1)

Sharks are not so bad… If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I’d probably get angry too.

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The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.

t-trust-dog-sandwich

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

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Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other ‘Do we take a dog or do we walk home?’

Top 10 Funny Quotes about Life

1. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. BOB MONKHOUSE 2. I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. ELAYNE BOOSLER 3. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. OSCAR WILDE 4. The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. MARK RUSSELL 5. Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. ROBERT BLOCH 6. First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. STEVE MARTIN 7. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. LANA TURNER 8. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!” ANONYMOUS 9. My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. DAVE BARRY 10. Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. ANONYMOUS