Special connection between Infinity War and Age of Ultron

Social Network Reddit deserves the best eyeglasses community when it comes to detecting hidden movie scenes that require excellent memory to be able to re-record. Recently, a resident of Reddit pointed to a connection between two Avengers: Age of Ultron and Avengers: Infinity War, involving the existence of infinity stones and power. their destruction. In “Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)”, Thor said, “I’ve seen a vision, a whirlpool that aspires to all life and is in the middle of it. Stone *. ” Watch movies on zmovies very good!

At this point, we realize that the whirlpool Thor has suggested suggests the Infinity Gaunlet of Thanos wearing the Avengers: Infinity War. Remember the Mind Stone is the sixth infinity stone collected by Titan during the battle in Wakanda. He put it solemnly in the center of his infinity glove. The prophecy came true when Thanos flicked his hands halfway across the universe.

Special connection between Infinity War and Age of Ultron
Special connection between Infinity War and Age of Ultron

The more thought to be found, the more important Mind Stone is in Thanos’s plan. In Age of Ultron, it exerts its power as a supercomputer. With the resonance of the remaining stones, Thanos can easily wipe out half of the universe “randomly” without having to think about it. Specifically, Power Stone is used to promote the energy of the remaining stones.

Space Stone allows the influence of the “flick of the hand” to cover the entire universe. The Soul Stone accurately determines the population measured by the soul. The Soul Stone is the number of souls that Soul Stone has counted, randomly selecting half of them for “flying colors”. Time stones ensure the strength of a snap shot is made at the same time. Finally, the Reality Stone transforms the bad guys into dust. Let’s see if the other superheroes will deal with this harsh reality in how the Avengers 4 is set to launch on May 3, 2018.

10 Ridiculous ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand

10 Ridiculous ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand

1. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cow says.

Cow says who?

No, a cow says mooooo!

2. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

A little old lady.

A little old lady who?

All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.

Knock Knock Jokes

3. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Europe.

Europe who?

No I’m not!

4. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Etch.

Etch who?

Bless you, friend.

5. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Robin.

Robin who?

Robin you, now hand over the cash.

10 Ridiculous ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand
10 Ridiculous ‘Knock Knock’ Jokes That’ll Get You A Laugh On Demand

6. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cash.

Cash who?

No thanks, I’ll have some peanuts.

7. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Mustache.

Mustache who?

I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

Knock Knock Jokes Hatchoo

8. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Tank.

Tank who?

You’re welcome.

9. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

I smell mop.

I smell mop who?

Ew.

10. Knock knock.

Who’s there?

I eat mop.

I eat mop who?

That’s revolting.

Best Jokes for Your Kids

Best Jokes for Your Kids. Kids are natural comedians so why not encourage them to get punny with these kid-approved quips that require little to no explanation from parents. Just don’t be surprised when the comedy sketch goes beyond today! Scroll down for our silliest and corniest jokes yet.

1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

4. What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

6. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite!

7. What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

8. Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

9. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking.

10. What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

11. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

12. What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

13. Why did the kid cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

14. How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern…

15. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

16. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

17. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7, 8, 9

18. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?

Spelling!

19. When does a joke become a “dad” joke?

When the punchline is a parent.

20. How do you make a lemon drop?

Just let it fall.

21. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite!

22. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

A wise quacker.

Best Jokes for Your Kids
Best Jokes for Your Kids

23. Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a baygull.

24. What kind of water cannot freeze?

Hot water.

25. What kind of tree fits in your hand?

A palm tree!

26. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because he felt crummy.

27. Why was the baby strawberry crying?

Because her mom and dad were in a jam.

28, What did the little corn say to the mama corn?

Where is pop corn?

29. What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

30. How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

About a buck an ear.

31. Where would you find an elephant?

The same place as you lost her!

32. How do you talk to a giant?

Use big words!

33. What animal is always at a baseball game?

A bat.

34. What falls in winter but never gets hurt?

Snow!

35. What do you call a ghost’s true love?

His ghoul-friend.

36. What building in New York has the most stories?

The public library!

37. What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you!

38. How do we know that the ocean is friendly?

It waves!

39. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

Twister!

40. How does the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

41. How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut!

42. What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

43. How does a scientist freshen her breath?

With experi-mints!

44. How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

45. How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

She starts coffin.

46. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm.

47. What is a computer’s favorite snack?

Computer chips!!
—reader Rebecca K.

48. Why don’t elephants chew gum?

They do, just not in public.

49. What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon

50. What did the banana say to the dog?

Nothing. Bananas can’t talk.

School jokes modern

School jokes modern – Not every own think that school is exciting and fun, some think it’s stupid and boring. We learn a lot about life in school, about people like yourself and gain many skills like communication, how to behave and much more than that. School does not have to be boring; it is only a small part of the journey through your life. Enjoy every second of it and have fun.

If sleep is really good for the brain, then why is it not permitted in school?
What kind of plates do they use on Venus?
Flying saucers!
If teachers are so smart, why are they still in school?

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”

If school isn’t a place to sleep then home isn’t a place to study.
I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her second-grade student.
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” he answered.

“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”
“Yes,” said the boy. “It means carrying a child.”
For Martin Luther King Day, I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”
If you make a camp to help kids with ADHD, then is it a concentration camp?
I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites. You were mean to everyone.”
That awkward moment when an emo kid goes to McDonald’s and orders a Happy Meal.
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping
My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they’re like, “It wasn’t that hard.”

School jokes modern
School jokes modern

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then why shouldn’t we judge a book by its cover?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
“How do you spell toad?” one of my first-grade students asked.
“We just read a story about a toad,” I said, then helped him spell it out: “T-O-A-D.”
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: “I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday.”
M.A.T.H. = Mental Abuse to Humans
2 things you can learn in school: Texting without looking and teamwork on tests.
After a day of listening to my eighth graders exchange gossip, I decided to quote Mark Twain to them: “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

After considering my words, one of my students asked, “What does it mean to remove all doubt?”
Question on second-grade math quiz: “Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain.”
My grandson’s answer: “She was more thirsty.”
Teacher: “Simon, can you say your name backwards?”
Simon: “No Mis.”

Teacher: If a chicken give you meat, a pig give you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?
Student: HOMEWORK!
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Sucks Children’s Happiness Out Of Life
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!
Teacher: What is an evangelist?
Student: Someone who plays the evangelo.

Mom: What did you learn in school?
Son: Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow.
Teacher: “Why are you talking during my lesson?”
Student: “Why are you teaching during my conversation?”
Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school.
After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He’s getting “A”s in math.

The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?”
“You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”
(1) Say “Eye”
(2) Spell the word “Map”
(3) Say “Ness”.

Repeat this 10 times, faster and faster.
Teacher: How can we keep the school clean?
Student: By staying at home.
Teacher: What is irony?
Student: “Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe.”

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Joey, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Joey: Because George still had the ax in his hand?
Mark: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
Mark: Because it was always sweeping during class!
A Texan was visiting Harvard University, and suddenly was lost.
He stopped a student and asked, “Do you know where the library is at?”
“I sure do,” replied the student, “But, you know, you’re not supposed to end sentences with prepositions.”

“What?”
“Prepositions. You ended your sentence with an ‘at’, which you aren’t supposed to do.”
“Oh, ok,” said the Texan, “Do you know where the library is at, asshole?”
SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4.
HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8.
EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun’s mass.
Dan: Why did the M&M go to school?

Stan: Why?
Dan: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Son: “My math teacher is crazy”.
Mother: “Why?”
Son: “Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2.”
George W. Bush visits Algeria.
As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: “You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra.”
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
“My father grows beans,” said one girl.
“My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”

Jew jokes

I would like to apologize to all Jews if you feel offended by these jokes. I am neither a racist nor trying to provoke a bad behavior towards others. These jokes are just jokes and everyone should know that it is only for fun, and nothing serious. Now that said, I hope will like these jew jokes.

What’s the definition of a queer Jew?
Someone that likes girls more than money.

What’s the difference between a boy scout and a jew?
A boy scout comes back from his camp.

Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?
They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Why were gentiles invented?
Somebody has to pay retail.

What’s the best way to get a Jewish girls number?
Roll up her sleeve.

What’s the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Jew jokes
Jew jokes

What did the Jewish peadophile say to the child?
“Wanna buy some candy?”
What do you call someone from Israel that has to sneeze?
A Jew.
Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it’s 20% off.

Why do jews wear yamakas?
Half of a hat, its cheaper.

What do you call a potato that picks on Jews?
A dicTATER.

Why don’t people mug Jews on Yom Kippur?
Dey fast.

Did you hear about the Jewish troll?
His name was Rumpled Foreskin.

Why didn’t Anne Frank finish her diary?
She needed more concentration.

What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision?
In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.

Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free.

Why did Hitler kill himself?
He opened his gas bill.

How do you say FUCK YOU in Jewish?
“Trust me!”
How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
He installs a parking meter on the roof.

Short jokes

Here is a long list of short jokes. These are in high demand, not because they are much funnier than jokes in other categories, but because they are incredibly easy to remember. What good is it to have heard a great joke when you can not retell it, because you forgot half of it? I hope you will enjoy this list.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”
Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”
Doctor: “Nine.”
Doctor: You’re overweight.
Patient: I think I want a second opinion.
Doctor: You’re also ugly.
I hate teachers who give homework over break. Like do you not understand what a break is? Do you want me to demonstrate on your neck?

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.
It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Old people poke me at weddings and tell me “your next”
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
I’d like to buy a new boomerang please.
Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!

Short jokes
Short jokes

Most commen lies ever told:
“I didn’t do it”
“I’m fine”
“I have read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions”
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner.
The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top.
“Och, I look like a pig!”
The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!”
Boy: Dad, I got expelled from school.
Dad: WHAT?!?! WHY?!
Boy: A kid said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Dad: So?
Boy: So I threw a dictionary at him.
Dad: That’s my boy.
Pessimist: “Things just can’t get any worse!”
Optimist: “Nah, of course they can!”
Wikipedia: “I know everything”.

Google: “I have everything”.
Facebook: “I know everybody”.
Internet: “Without me you’re nothing”.
Electricity: “Keep talking, b*tches”.
A naked women robs a bank.
Nobody could remember her face.
Dear Alegbra,
Please stop asking everyone to find your x. She’s not coming back.

Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don’t work.
Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon, Neil A. backwards is Alien.
Anyone else freaked out right now?
I change my car horn to a gunshot sound.
People move out of the way a lot faster now.
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body…. and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Wife: honey, can i hold henry? (their new baby)
Husband: wait until he cries.

Wife: why?
Husband: because i cant find him.

Sex jokes

Here is a list with great sex jokes. Yes they are somewhat unappropriated but very funny. Just a warning, these jokes are not for underage kids. Most of these jokes contain foul and filthy language. So parent beware of your kids who lands on this exactly page. If they like jokes, we got many other categories just for them. You can find the appropriated categories in the main menu.

So what is these sex jokes about? They are about life, love between people and funny questions by kids as you will experience. So without further ado go ahead and enjoy yourself with these filthy but funny jokes.

A boy says to a girl, “So, sex at my place?” “Yeah!” “Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later that day the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.
So I got drunk.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

Sex jokes
Sex jokes

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm. “Sure!” she says, “He’s at home taking care of the kids”

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry”

Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. The son comes running up to his mom and says…”Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!” The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” So he goes back to play. Several minutes later, he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy’s!” The mom says…”the bigger they are, the dumber they are.” So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says…”Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!”

Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night .”
Kid 1: “As if.”
Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”
Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”
Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”

A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: “I was walking along beside the railway line” he says, “When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having sex with her all night.” “Did you get a blow job?” asks his friend. “No!” he says, “I never did find the head.”
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!” Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

A boy comes down stairs for breakfast and asks his grandma “Has my mom and dad come down stairs yet?” The grandma says “no” the boy giggles and goes out side to play He came back in for lunch and askd again the gramma says “no” he giggles and goes out side to play He later comes in for dinner and asks once again “Have my mom and dad come downstairs yet?” She says “no” he giggles Finnally she asks him why he keeps giggling when he asks that the boy said “Last night dad asked me for the lubricant but instead I gave him super glue”.
A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, “What were you and daddy doing?” The mom said, “We were baking a cake.” A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, “Were you and daddy baking a cake?” She said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, “Because I licked the frosting off the couch.”

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?” The mother replies, “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.” “You’re wasting your time,” said the boy. “Why is that?” asked his mom, puzzled. “Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!” I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?” “Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work.” The boss says, “You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try.” Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.”

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, “I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best.” “I don’t think I have ever heard of that one,” says the other cowboy. “What is it?” “Well, it’s where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, ‘boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.’ Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds.”

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather tentatively. “I would like it infrequently “, she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, “Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!” Maria replied, “See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!”

Easter jokes

Here are some great Easter jokes. Most of us know Easter as a great festivity with bunny’s, Easter eggs and so on. But do you know what the Easter and its origin? You can read all about it right here.

Have a great Easter you all, and if you like these jokes, remember to share with friend and family.

Where does the Easter Bunny study medicine?
John HOPkins.
What kind of beans grow in the Easter Bunny’s garden?
Jelly beans!
Why was the little girl sad after the race?
Because an egg beater!

What do you call a bunny with a dictionary in his jeans?
A smarty pants.
What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like anyone else.
What do you get if you cross a bee and a bunny?
A honey bunny!
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with Chinese food?
Hop suey!

Easter jokes
Easter jokes

What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
Eggs-austed.
How did the egg roll across the road?
It just rolled, silly!
How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush!
What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
He cracked up.

How does the Easter Bunny stay in shape?
He does lots of hare-obics.
What did the Easter Egg say to the other Easter Egg?
Have you heard any good yolks today?
Why wouldn’t the egg take a hot bath?
He didn’t want to be hard boiled.
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold.

What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite type of music?
Hip Hop!
What’s big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?
The Easter Barney!
What day does an egg hate the most?
Fry-days.

How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
Eggs mark the spot!
How do eggs stay healthy?
They “Egg-cercize”.

What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies!
What do you call a rabbit with the sniffles?
A runny bunny!
What kind of plants do eggs keep?
Eggplants, silly!

Racist jokes

No matter the skin color, belief or attitude, you’re never safe with these funny racist jokes. We will point out that we are neither racist or encourages acts of racism or racial violence of any sort. That said, many will find these racist jokes very funny. Remember that it’s all fun, have a laugh with your frinds.

What did God say when he made the first black man?
“Damn, I burnt one.”
What did the black boy say when he had diarrhea?
“Mommy, why am I melting?!”
Why don’t sharks eat black people?
They think it’s whale shit.
What’s more suspicious than a black man running?
A black man tiptoeing.

Why are asprins white?
Because they work!
Colgate toothpaste are a bunch of liars. On the label it says “Whiter in only 14 days”.
I’ve been taking it for 15 days now and I still look Asian.
Why do black people make the best gynecologists?
Because they’re already used to big lips, kinky hair, and bad breath.
What do you call a good looking Pakistani?
Asif.
Women are just like fine wine.
I only like the white ones.
What do you call a Chinese man who likes to eat soup with chopsticks?
Yuan Dum Fuk

What’s the difference between a black man and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn’t sing when you put chains on it.
What’s the difference between dog shit and black person?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
Jail break.
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy’s turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.
What do you call a black priest?
Holy Shit.
4 black men drive of a cliff in a old bentle what is the worst thing about it.
The worst thing is there are 5 seats.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.

Racist jokes
Racist jokes

How u call a ringing mexican?
Taco “bell”.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”
I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What’s long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
What do you call 1000 Jews on a train?
Anything you want, they are never coming back.

Why are black people’s nose so big?
Well god had to pick them up by something to spray paint them black.
Who are the real ninjas?
The black people, you cant see or hear them in the night.
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
It’s called Nacho Mama.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Hey, I’m not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man?
The Book of Job.
Whats the diference between a black man and a nickel?
The nickel is worth something.
What happened to the little black boy who had diarrhea for the first time?
He though he was melting.

Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
Why do blacks smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
What’s the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A boy scout comes home from camp.
There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing. The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, “We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, “We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, “We have too many in our country.”
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because they killed the only one that had a dream.
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time …” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit …”

Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican?
They steal all the green cards.
Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
KFC isnt open on holidays.
What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
My bike.
How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?
The Blacks get car insurance.
Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones?
Because they were still monkeys then.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.

What is long and black?
A KFC line!
Recently starting going to a French self-defense class.
I can’t believe how tiring it is.
I’ve never done so much running in all my life.
How do you know that Noah was white?
No black guy could go 40 days on a boat without eating chicken.
Why are all black people fast?
Because all the slow ones are in prison.
How do you stop a black man from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
School is like a boner.
It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.

What do you call a Chinese prostitute?
Suk Mi Dong
What do you call a black man in a tree with a briefcase?
Branch manager.
What’s the difference between sluts and mosquitoes?
When I hit mosquitoes they stop sucking!
What’s the difference between a black man and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of four.
What do you get when you cross a black person and a mexican?
Someone too lazy to steal.

School Jokes

School jokes – Not every own think that school is exciting and fun, some think it’s stupid and boring. We learn a lot about life in school, about people like yourself and gain many skills like communication, how to behave and much more than that. School does not have to be boring; it is only a small part of the journey through your life. Enjoy every second of it and have fun.

If sleep is really good for the brain, then why is it not permitted in school?
What kind of plates do they use on Venus?
Flying saucers!
If teachers are so smart, why are they still in school?

A first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hepped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?”
“Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student.
“Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?”
“Then I’d be a football fan.”
If school isn’t a place to sleep then home isn’t a place to study.
I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her second-grade student.
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” he answered.

“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”
“Yes,” said the boy. “It means carrying a child.”
For Martin Luther King Day, I asked my fifth graders how they’d make the world a better place. One said, “I’d make potato skins a main dish rather than an appetizer.”
If you make a camp to help kids with ADHD, then is it a concentration camp?
I recently ran into an old student of mine, who said, “I always liked you. You never had favorites. You were mean to everyone.”
That awkward moment when an emo kid goes to McDonald’s and orders a Happy Meal.
C.L.A.S.S. = Come Late And Start Sleeping

School Jokes
School Jokes

My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, and they’re like, “It wasn’t that hard.”
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then why shouldn’t we judge a book by its cover?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
“How do you spell toad?” one of my first-grade students asked.
“We just read a story about a toad,” I said, then helped him spell it out: “T-O-A-D.”
Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: “I toad my mama I wanted a dog for my birthday.”
M.A.T.H. = Mental Abuse to Humans
2 things you can learn in school: Texting without looking and teamwork on tests.
After a day of listening to my eighth graders exchange gossip, I decided to quote Mark Twain to them: “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

After considering my words, one of my students asked, “What does it mean to remove all doubt?”
Question on second-grade math quiz: “Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain.”
My grandson’s answer: “She was more thirsty.”
Teacher: “Simon, can you say your name backwards?”
Simon: “No Mis.”
Teacher: If a chicken give you meat, a pig give you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?
Student: HOMEWORK!
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Life
S.C.H.O.O.L. = Sucks Children’s Happiness Out Of Life
Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!

Teacher: What is an evangelist?
Student: Someone who plays the evangelo.
Mom: What did you learn in school?
Son: Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow.
Teacher: “Why are you talking during my lesson?”
Student: “Why are you teaching during my conversation?”
Teacher: Why can’t freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
A father who is very much concerned about his son’s bad grades in math decides to register him at a catholic school.
After his first term there, the son brings home his report card: He’s getting “A”s in math.

The father is, of course, pleased, but wants to know: “Why are your math grades suddenly so good?”
“You know”, the son explains, “when I walked into the classroom the first day, and I saw that guy on the wall nailed to a plus sign, I knew one thing: This place means business!”
(1) Say “Eye”
(2) Spell the word “Map”
(3) Say “Ness”.
Repeat this 10 times, faster and faster.
Teacher: How can we keep the school clean?
Student: By staying at home.
Teacher: What is irony?
Student: “Irony is when something has the chemical symbol Fe.”

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree but also admitted it. Now, Joey, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
Joey: Because George still had the ax in his hand?
Mark: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
Mark: Because it was always sweeping during class!
A Texan was visiting Harvard University, and suddenly was lost.

He stopped a student and asked, “Do you know where the library is at?”
“I sure do,” replied the student, “But, you know, you’re not supposed to end sentences with prepositions.”
“What?”
“Prepositions. You ended your sentence with an ‘at’, which you aren’t supposed to do.”
“Oh, ok,” said the Texan, “Do you know where the library is at, asshole?”
SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4.
HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8.
EXAM: Matthew has 4 apples, his train is 7 minutes early, calculate the sun’s mass.

Dan: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: Why?
Dan: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
Son: “My math teacher is crazy”.
Mother: “Why?”
Son: “Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2.”
George W. Bush visits Algeria.
As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: “You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra.”
A teacher asked her students to use the word “beans” in a sentence.
“My father grows beans,” said one girl.
“My mother cooks beans,” said a boy.
A third student spoke up, “We are all human beans.”