No matter the skin color, belief or attitude, you’re never safe with these funny racist jokes. We will point out that we are neither racist or encourages acts of racism or racial violence of any sort. That said, many will find these racist jokes very funny. Remember that it’s all fun, have a laugh with your frinds.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
“Damn, I burnt one.”
What did the black boy say when he had diarrhea?
“Mommy, why am I melting?!”
Why don’t sharks eat black people?
They think it’s whale shit.
What’s more suspicious than a black man running?
A black man tiptoeing.
Why are asprins white?
Because they work!
Colgate toothpaste are a bunch of liars. On the label it says “Whiter in only 14 days”.
I’ve been taking it for 15 days now and I still look Asian.
Why do black people make the best gynecologists?
Because they’re already used to big lips, kinky hair, and bad breath.
What do you call a good looking Pakistani?
Women are just like fine wine.
I only like the white ones.
What do you call a Chinese man who likes to eat soup with chopsticks?
Yuan Dum Fuk
What’s the difference between a black man and a snow tire?
A snow tire doesn’t sing when you put chains on it.
What’s the difference between dog shit and black person?
When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.
What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, “This is for all my people” and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy’s turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, “This is for all my people” and then throws the white guy off the roof.
What do you call a black priest?
4 black men drive of a cliff in a old bentle what is the worst thing about it.
The worst thing is there are 5 seats.
Do not be racist; be like Mario. He’s an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!
How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.
How u call a ringing mexican?
I asked a Chinese girl for her number.
She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!”
I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What’s long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
What do you call 1000 Jews on a train?
Anything you want, they are never coming back.
Why are black people’s nose so big?
Well god had to pick them up by something to spray paint them black.
Who are the real ninjas?
The black people, you cant see or hear them in the night.
A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant.
It’s called Nacho Mama.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Hey, I’m not saying Hitler was a great guy, but he really saved the Histoy channel.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
Which part of the Bible won’t you find a black man?
The Book of Job.
Whats the diference between a black man and a nickel?
The nickel is worth something.
What happened to the little black boy who had diarrhea for the first time?
He though he was melting.
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
Why do blacks smell?
So blind people can hate them too.
What’s the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A boy scout comes home from camp.
There is a black man, a white man, and a Mexican man on a plane that is too heavy to fly and they are about to crash. They each have to throw something off the plane to save them from crashing. The black man throws out his Jordan shoes and says, “We have too many in our country.” The Mexican tosses out his lawn mower and says, “We have too many in our country.” The white man puts his item down, grabs the Mexican, throws him out the window and says, “We have too many in our country.”
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because they killed the only one that had a dream.
What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins “Once upon a time …” A southern fairytale begins “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit …”
Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican?
They steal all the green cards.
Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving?
KFC isnt open on holidays.
What did the little Mexican boy get for christmas?
How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood?
The Blacks get car insurance.
Why wasnt there any blacks in the flintstones?
Because they were still monkeys then.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They throw them down the stairs to see what noise they make.
What is long and black?
A KFC line!
Recently starting going to a French self-defense class.
I can’t believe how tiring it is.
I’ve never done so much running in all my life.
How do you know that Noah was white?
No black guy could go 40 days on a boat without eating chicken.
Why are all black people fast?
Because all the slow ones are in prison.
How do you stop a black man from drowning?
Take your foot off the back of his head.
School is like a boner.
It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.
What do you call a Chinese prostitute?
Suk Mi Dong
What do you call a black man in a tree with a briefcase?
What’s the difference between sluts and mosquitoes?
When I hit mosquitoes they stop sucking!
What’s the difference between a black man and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family of four.
What do you get when you cross a black person and a mexican?
Someone too lazy to steal.